Matthew 6:34 NIV
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34 NIV
Rocco got a lot worse on Sunday. He ended up paralyzed from just below the ribcage and could not feel anything at all in his hips or legs. So yesterday Lilly & Rocco & I went to the vet. I couldn’t leave Lilly at home - she’s never let me leave her if I’m taking Rocco and yesterday was no exception. Besides, I didn’t want her searching for him. So, she waited in the car while the vet examined my big beautiful boy and told me what I already knew - there wasn’t anything else we could do for him. So I held my buddy boy in my lap while the vet gave him the drugs to put him to sleep forever. And I cried. Once he was gone, I brought Lilly in to say goodbye. She sniffed his body and then came to me and asked for a hug. Poor little girl, she really depended on him for his eyes and ears. After Lilly and I left the vet we went to Percy Warner Park and went for a hike through the woods. She mastered walking across a beam over the river, jumping over a log, and enjoyed wading in the shallow parts of the water. Then it was back home to reality. A too quiet house without Rocco. Both Lilly and Sylvester slept curled up with me on my bed last night - something they have never done before. And today I found Lilly lying on Rocco’s bed sniffing his blanket. She’s not looking for him. She knows he’s gone. She just misses him. I do too. I know the tears will fade in time, but for now I cry spontaneously.
Today was rainy and thundering - a grey dismal day. But it was full of progress and hope for the furry ones in my home. Rocco had his vet appointment yesterday and got the first of the series of magic shots. Today he is standing better and able to walk more on his own. He still needs a lot of help, but is better. Jack, the cat, finally had enough and beat Gabriel up -- twice. :) We're thrilled that he's finally decided to stand up for himself! And Gabe went for his first big dog walk with his harness on. He did very well and walked half a mile before deciding he was too little and needed to be carried the rest of the way home. The girls have both been very good today and unusually quiet - none of their normal barking at each other just for fun. NOT that I'm complaining! So, despite the weather outside, its been a great day!
Rocco turned thirteen in October '07, so this is no surprise... he's old. But knowing the aging process is happening, knowing the time to say goodbye is getting closer and closer... knowing about it absolutely does not make dealing with it any easier.
This time last year I was worried he wouldn't make it much longer. His hind legs were so weak he couldn't go for walks anymore and just the act of standing had them trembling with the effort. Then we discovered his low thyroid, got some magic thyroid boosting pills, and suddenly life was better. He got stronger and has spent the last year walking a mile per day.
Until last week...
Last week he fell, hard. And now the degenerative nerve disorder in his hips is creating all sorts of havoc with his ability to stand and walk. He can't feel where his hind feet are placed, so he falls frequently and ends up dragging his hind legs behind him. This is not a strength issue, it's an inability to feel where & how the legs are placed and a lack of communication between the brain and the hind legs. ~~ Kind of like trying to walk with your legs completely asleep. ~~ I have to use a sling under his abdomen to support him so that he can walk without falling. This upsets me so much more than it upsets him. He'll drag himself over to his sling, look at it and then bark at me - he likes that he can walk fast again when we use it. When he first figured out the sling made it easier to walk, he took off running down the street with me chasing behind trying not to drop him & yelling at him to slow down. He hasn't moved that fast in over two years! I'm not in good enough shape to be jogging down the street in the best of circumstances, but carrying the back half of a 105 pound dog while doing so sent me into an asthma attack. We've been walking one block per day - he would like to go further and attempts to drag me along with him, but I just can't carry him any longer than that.
We're seeing the vet later this week. She might have one more magic pill up her sleeve - actually it's a series of shots. Other than his hips, my beautiful boy is in excellent health. His heart is good, his hearing hasn't diminished a bit, and mentally he's as sharp as ever. So I'm hoping the shots work. The same hope I had as a child and had to deal with my little Patches dog getting old. Because, just as I wasn't ready to say goodbye then, I'm not ready now. And just like Dr. Aldene managed to pull some magic shots out of his bag of tricks to give me several more years with my little Patches, I'm hoping Dr. Torchia's magic shots will give me more time with Rocco. Because I'm just not ready to say "goodbye".
Nothing like sliding off the icy road into the ditch and then sitting there for two hours to help you see the positives in an otherwise ordinary day. First; I wasn't hurt. Second; the car wasn't hurt. Third; at least a dozen people stopped to make sure I was ok - almost everyone that went past. Fourth; the idiot good Samaritan that was driving too fast and hit his brakes at the last minute thinking he'd stop and help, but instead causing his SUV to slide around on the road, didn't hit me. Fifth; the tow truck managed to pull my car out of the ditch without sliding into the ditch with the car - things were pretty icy and the tow truck was sliding quite a bit. And most important, I'm home and no longer sitting in a ditch out on a snowy icy country road.
I thought there were enough animals in my house. With three dogs and two cats all living indoors (a total of 232 pounds of animals), I THOUGHT my home was full. No more four-legged furry creatures. That's what I thought. But evidently God had other plans. Because there is now a fourth dog living in my house.
Well, he's really more puppy than dog. We're guessing Gabe is about 8 weeks old. He weighs 5 1/2 pounds. And no one has a clue what he is - best guess is some sort of hunting breed mix due to the black ring around the base of his tail. As for how he came to live at my house... well, he just kind of fell out of the sky. At least that's the vets explanation, "Puppies just sort of fall out of the sky here in Tennessee and no one ever figures out where they came from."
My sister and I found Gabe walking along the center yellow line of the road out in the country where homes are at least 1/2 mile apart. After checking every home in the area, leaving notes on the homes that didn't answer the door, & leaving a note at the church to please announce it during the service (it was Sunday)... not a soul had ever seen him before or knew of anyone whose dog had recently had puppies. We weren't even supposed to be on that particular stretch of road at that time - we were running 20 minutes late. It was one of those mornings where the clock is moving in fast-forward and you're trying to move in quicksand. No particular explanation for running 20 minutes late, the clock was just moving extra fast that morning. But, if we hadn't been late, we wouldn't have found Gabe, and maybe the person who did find him in the middle of the road would have been driving too fast and hit him.
So now there is this little brindle & white spotted munchkin that God has trusted us with living in my home. He's smart & is very good (for a puppy). The big dogs tolerate him as long as they get lengthy breaks with him locked in Rocco's old crate. Miss Lilly Ann has discovered that he makes a better playmate than Sylvester when it comes to games of chase and tag. Sylvester has beat him up several times and Gabe has finally figured out to steer clear of that particular cat. Jack the cat is trying to learn not to run from Gabe - he did a bit better at that today and didn't get chased anywhere near as much. We keep trying to tell Jack that he needs to take a page from Sylvester's book & just wallop Gabe while he's still bigger than the little brat, but so far no luck. He's such a cute baby. I'd really like to get my hands on the moron who dumped him! As for what I'd do to the idiot... well, I think I might get in trouble if I wrote it out here - I'm sure your imagination can come up with some appropriate punishments.
