Trying to be the Alpha Dog

Adam's vlog reminded me of how a dog is supposed to behave.  How my previous German Shepherd / Anatolian Shepherd behaved.  


Rocco was a very beautiful and intelligent handful.  It took all I had to be alpha with him.  We went round and round and round when he was a youngster.  I couldn't give an inch or he'd take five miles.  I had to be really on top of my game for the first five years I had him.  No relaxing.  Ever.  There were days I was sure the dog was smarter than me.  I got help from one of the Sheriff's Department canine trainers when he was a year old.  That's how I learned that I ALWAYS had to be in charge.  I've had dogs my whole life and this was a whole new way of thinking about dogs.  This dog, Rocco, needed a very strong leader.  And my Sheriff buddy turned me into one.  The results were awesome.  Rocco turned into an incredibly well behaved and trained dog.  I could take him anywhere and never worry about his reactions to various situations.  He was good with any size dog and young children too.  It is not easy for a 100 or so pound dog to be gentle and not knock a toddler over, but he was a pro at it.  He also did well with seniors, walkers, wheelchairs, shaky hands & all.  I regularly took him to public celebrations like Fourth of July where he mingled with the crowds, allowed anyone to pet him, and was an absolute pleasure to be with.  I got a lot of compliments on him.  As he got older, I was finally able to relax a little bit and enjoy the wonderful dog he was.


I got Lilly Ann at 15 months old when Rocco was 12 1/2 years old.  She had been severely abused and was terrified of everything.  She was too scared to challenge anything.  I didn't see the need for me to be the super strong alpha leader.  Instead I was patient, sweet, loving, and worked really hard to earn her trust & bring her out of her shell.  It worked.  She became very confident, no longer terrified, and was naturally a good girl.  So good, I didn't realize she was challenging me and very effectively running my household without me noticing by the time she turned 4.  I was told by a trainer friend that this is a very common problem with Australian Shepherds & that I should congratulate myself on having a normal dog with normal problems.  Oh, and I should get my butt in gear and start being the one in charge again.


Maks came along at two months old - a baby that had been dumped in my neighborhood.  It was exactly one month after Rocco died.  Maks was naturally a good dog too with a strong desire to please me.  Still is.  


So, I have two dogs that don't outright defy me.  They like to please me.  I relaxed way too much and let them take over running the house.  They're good at it.  Especially Lilly Ann.  But, Adam's very well trained dog reminded me that I am supposed to be the one in charge and we have been working on that this week.  


It's exhausting being the one in charge.  I find myself having to think about every interaction with them ahead of time and decide exactly what behaviors I want from them & not proceed until I get those behaviors.  


Maks has responded well & is much calmer in general now.  My sister came over last night and was surprised at his ability to sit calmly without being told to.  The changes made this week have been very good for him.  


Lilly Ann, on the other hand, has fought me every step of the way - looking the other way when told to do something or flat out turning her back to me and walking off.  She does not like having someone else run HER house.  But, since she has figured out that I mean business, she is reluctantly complying.  Her willingness to do as she is told on my schedule instead of her own has improved.


Today we went for a structured walk with me in charge and them being made to walk beside & slightly behind me.  This is how I walked Rocco for the first five years of his life - I had to. It is the first time I've made Maks and Lilly Ann go on this type of walk.  Usually they're on retractable leashes. 


Doing this with both dogs was exhausting.  Fortunately, Maks figured out what was expected pretty quick, so my left arm was saved from much pulling.  Lilly Ann took time to figure it out.  Then she took time to decide she'd comply.  My right arm paid the price.  Boy is it sore!  However, something clicked in her brain today and she has been happily looking to me for direction & then complying all evening.  YAY!!!


I don't expect Maks or Lilly to turn into Rocco.  I know they are different dogs with different capabilities.  However, they have not reached their full potential and it's my job to get them there.


No more Miss Pushover at my house.  From now on, I am the one in charge!

The new job is NOT working.

I've been at the new job for 2 1/2 months now.  I'm an accounts receivable/payable assistant.  It's a temp position that is/was supposed to become permanent.  I love the people I work with.  They're funny, caring, patient, hardworking... just generally great people.  I couldn't ask for more from a co-worker.


The supervisor is another story.


She is the worst manager I've ever met.  Her management style is to not manage at all, micromanage, or manipulate.  She is extremely disorganized and does not trust the people working in her department.  They don't trust her either.  My very first day, she pulled me aside and badmouthed them to me.  Fortunately, she is rarely actually in my building.  She spends most of her time at her other office at the sister company.  When she is gone, things are good.  This makes the few hours a week she is present somewhat bearable.


Things got worse when I had to go to the hospital for emergency gallbladder surgery. When I called her and told her I was on my way to the ER due to extreme pain and an inability to stop vomiting, her response was, "So this means you're not coming to work today?"
And she was put out about it!!!


I returned to work part time only three days after being released from the hospital.  On my fourth day out of the hospital, this woman called me into her office and proceeded to tell me that she had observed I was slow & methodical (during the two hours she'd spent at the office that week) and that she didn't think I could keep up with the fast pace of her department.  Then she tried to get me to agree with her!  She was not happy that I refused to agree with her & pointed out to her that I had JUST BEEN RELEASED FROM THE HOSPITAL.  I was flabbergasted at her insensitivity and complete lack of compassion.  It had taken a whole lot of convincing from both my sis and myself to get the Doc to allow me to return to work that soon.  Even his nurse was surprised that he'd allowed me back to work prior to 10 days after surgery.  For her to expect me to be back to normal productivity so soon and then to base her opinion of my work abilities on that particular day was astounding.


Since then she has continued to look for any little thing to criticize me on.  Fortunately, I don't make many mistakes so her opportunities have been few and far between.  She has tried to blame me several times for things I haven't done and I have had to prove that it occurred prior to me being hired.  She never apologizes for this.  She even criticized me for my desk being neat, clean, and organized.  Her comment was that since I had time to make sure things were organized, I must not have enough to do.  She didn't like my response that people work differently and some of us naturally put things away while we work so that we can find them easily later, while others seem to be happier in a less structured environment.  Both of her offices are complete disasters and she loses things all the time, so this didn't go over well.


Last week I got an e-mail from Human Resources.  This job that was supposed to be temp to perm, was posted on their website and if I was interested in continuing with it I could fill out an application.  No phone call from anyone.  And no contact at all from my supervisor about this.  


I did fill out the application.  A job with benefits isn't easy to find these days.  I got another e-mail today from HR asking if I was available Tuesday afternoon to interview.  Since my supervisor was missing yet again, I sent her an e-mail asking if it was ok for me to be out of the department during that time.  She NEVER responded.  Instead I got another e-mail from HR saying that the previous time wasn't good for the supervisor & rescheduling the interview.


What's even better than this is what happened when I arrived at work this morning.  Before I had even gotten my coat off, I was accused of leaving money out in the open overnight.  There are 7 people in the department I work in.  The supervisor did not ASK anyone if they knew what had happened or why.  She just jumped to the conclusion that it was me and sent a scathing e-mail around blaming me and stating that it was unacceptable and against known procedure.  


Even better, when she found out IT WASN'T ME, she said nothing.  No apology.  No talk with the girl who said she'd done it.  No correction to everyone she'd sent the e-mail to in which she blamed me.  Nothing.


I can handle a lot of things - especially when I like my co-workers.  But being accused of mishandling money is NOT one of those things!


After work today, I went to the temp agency and requested that they find me another assignment ASAP.  They happen to have two assignments that I'm qualified for & they're setting me up for interviews next week.  I realize that I may not like my new co-workers as well as I like these, but I just can't handle having that woman as a supervisor any longer.

More Snow!

It is snowing yet again here in Middle Tennessee.  The dogs are thrilled.  Me - not so much.  I tried to get to work today.  It didn't work.  Couldn't even manage to get onto the freeway.  After half an hour of trying to get out of my neighborhood & onto the freeway & not succeeding due to traffic & snow, I told my boss I was giving up and going home.  It took me another half an hour to get home, slipping and sliding the whole way.  By the time I got there, the new snow had completely covered my tracks leading out of the driveway as well as the spot where the car had been parked.  I spun and slid my way into the driveway and have no intentions of leaving again today.  


I took a couple of videos after getting home.  The first is of Maks and Lilly Ann in the back yard.  The second is of Maks refusing to come in the house.  I used my digital camera to take the videos, so the second one is shot sideways - I didn't know you couldn't rotate a video like you can rotate a picture.  See, one does learn something new every day.  Enjoy!


** It did eventually warm up a bit - enough for the roads to be clear - and I was able to go to work for a half day.  The severe traffic congestion was due to two different major accidents on the freeway.  One was a four car pile up.  The second was a two car crash that happened as a result of the four car accident.  


Video #1: Maks & Lilly in the back yard

Video #2: Maks refusing to come in the house

Putting Toys Away

My furry kids know that their toys need to be put away before bedtime. Preferably in the toy box they never use. They have two options, they can get their toys picked up and out of the way on their own -or- I will take care of picking them up and put them all in the toy box. They don't like having to sort through the toy box to find the particular toy they're looking for, so having Mommy pick up the toys is not their favorite alternative.

I am a stickler for the toys being out of the way before bedtime for two reasons: the screaming monkey and Maks' chew toys. There is nothing quite like getting up half asleep in the middle of the night and stepping on the screeching monkey. The thing is loud and obnoxious and guaranteed to give an unsuspecting soul heart failure. As for those chew toys... have you ever stepped on a Lego in your bare feet? Chew toys aren't any better.

Lilly Ann is especially good at keeping her toys put away. Mainly because she is hiding them from Maks. Her favorite toys are the soft stuffed animals. She keeps them on her bed and hidden under my bed where Maks doesn't dare go for fear of her beating him up.

As for Maks, his favorite toys are the chew toys. We call them his "pacifiers". He has five of them. When he was younger, not being able to find a pacifier at any given moment meant something of mine was going to get destroyed. As long as there is a pacifier available, he doesn't touch anything else. So, I make sure there are always plenty available. Maks is not anywhere near as good as Lilly when it comes to putting his toys away. I end up tripping over them or stepping on them a lot. He gets yelled at for this a lot. And then the toys get put in the dreaded toy box where he has to sort through all of the unpopular toys to get his favorites back out.

This morning when I was getting ready for work I ended up laughing out loud and then getting the camera to take a picture. It hadn't dawned on me until this morning, but I haven't tripped over a chew toy once since I had surgery. It's been 6 weeks and Maks has been keeping his toys out of the way the whole time. I hadn't noticed.

What made me laugh? Maks has been hiding his toys out of the way under the rocking chair. Seeing them set neatly where they wouldn't get stepped on cracked me up. Evidently my dense boy CAN learn! And I was so oblivious I didn't notice for over a month. Tonight he had one of the chew toys out, gnawing away. When he decided he was done, he picked it up and put it neatly under the rocking chair. I'm still smiling. :)

Here is the pic I took this morning:

SNOW!

We've had a lot of snow here in middle Tennessee this week.  Six and a half inches at my house.  The furry kids have had a blast playing in it and the neighborhood kids have been quite creative in their snowman making.

"NO! I don't want to come in the house!"

Sad, Angry, Upset, Worried, Pissed Off...

I am all of those tonight. I don't know whether to cry or scream or hit something. And if I'm feeling this way, I can only imagine how my sister feels. I have told you about the children I sponsor in Haiti and Honduras & how much they mean to me. My sister also sponsors a child, Daisy. She is a seven year old little girl in Columbia and my sister has been sponsoring her for three years. She loves this child just as much as I love my little Rose. Tonight my sister got a phone call. The school Daisy goes to will not be participating in the sponsorship program anymore. There are not any other schools in the area that participate in the sponsorship program. Which means my sister can no longer sponsor her little girl. She gets to write one last letter and then that's it. No more contact. No watching this child grow up from afar. No more school pictures. Nothing. They asked if she'd be willing to sponsor another little girl from a different area in Columbia. She told them, "I don't want a different little girl, I want MY little girl!" My sister was assured that, if by some miracle, her little girl ends up back in a school that participates in the sponsorship program they will call my sister immediately - even if it's several years from now. I do know that this is true from talking to other sponsors who have lost their child when the child moved away from the program and were later contacted when the child re-entered the program and asked if they would like to sponsor that child again. Of course, my sister agreed to sponsor the other little girl. She is six and also lives in Columbia. And my sister will grow to love this little girl as much as she loves Daisy. It doesn't make losing the seven year old little girl who owns a huge chunk of your heart any easier though. Please, if you are the praying type, keep Daisy in your prayers. My sister's sponsorship pays for her to go to school and for her medical care. Prior to being sponsored, Daisy was working - cleaning houses with her mother at 4 1/2 years old because they couldn't afford school tuition. The past three years have been a struggle between Daisy's aunt and her mother - the aunt wanting Daisy in school and the mother wanting her to work. Without her school tuition being paid for, we are worried that Daisy's mom will win this battle. Unfortunately, there will not be a way for us to know what happens to this wonderful child. I know that God has this under control. However, it would make me feel better if you all help me remind Him to continue taking care of Daisy.

I got a very special letter today!

I went to the post office today and as I pulled the mail out of the box I noticed a cream colored envelope. For the past three years, every time I get a cream colored envelope I start to get excited. Sure enough, this one was from Compassion and the front of the envelope had the big blue letters stating, "A Message From Your Sponsored Child." YIPPEE!!!!!!!!!!! Let the happy dance begin!!!

So happy!!!! But, which child? I love both of the kids I sponsor and a letter from either always puts a huge smile on my face for days. BUT... Tonight I found myself hoping and wishing that this particular letter be from seven year old Rose in Haiti. It takes three months for letters to get back and forth between here and Haiti. I haven't heard from Rose since September and that letter was several months old by the time I got it. Normally I would have gotten another letter by now, but with the cholera epidemic the schools have been closed & that's where she writes her letters to me. I've been so worried about her and her family with all of the turmoil in Haiti and them living right in the middle of the worst of the cholera epidemic. Yes, I really wanted that letter to be from Rose.

It made me pause and think. What if the letter is from fifteen year old Jairo in Honduras? Letters only take six weeks to get between here and there, so I hear from him more often than I hear from Rose. I just got a letter from him two weeks ago, but this envelope could be another letter from the young man that shares my birthday. As much as I love the two kids, would it disappoint me to have the letter be from Jairo instead of from Rose? 

The answer was, yes. I would be disappointed if the cream colored envelope did not contain a letter from Haiti. I love getting letters from my teenage boy in Honduras. It's so great to be able to read and understand letters he has written himself (I can read Spanish). He understands concepts that little Rose just doesn't get yet and I can talk more naturally when I write to Jairo. However, I learned tonight that I do have a favorite child. Little Miss Rose is an overly enthusiastic bundle of energy with a never ending list of questions about everything under the sun. I've been sponsoring her for three years - since she was four. And she owns a huge piece of my heart. I am completely wrapped around her little finger. I would never let the kids know that I have a favorite. But I wonder, is it bad of me to care for one more than the other?

The letter was from Haiti, written last October. AND IT INCLUDED A PICTURE OF ROSE'S WHOLE FAMILY!!!!!! Mom, sister, aunt, two male cousins around ages 9 & 11, and most important of all Great Grandma. Great Grandma is the reason the girls are enrolled in the Compassion program. She told her rather unenthusiastic granddaughter that both girls would be going to school whether Rose's mom liked it or not. I'd love to give that woman a huge bonecrushing hug for caring so much about her great-grandaughters' future! Rose and her sister went to stay with an older brother in a neighboring town for the summer and had a wonderful vacation. The birthday money I sent her was used to buy two turkeys - she was very happy about this. Her mom (at the time the letter was written) was very sick and from the description given it sounds like she might have cholera. I am hoping she is well now. Rose got the world map and addition flashcards I mailed and she has been practicing her numbers with her older sister every day so that THIS TIME she'll pass second grade (she failed last year due to her lack of math skills). Lots of people in her town have been sick, but the school has given them pills to make their water safe and all of her family (with the exception of Mom) has stayed well. She always asks how my mom, sister, and all of our animals are doing (she names each animal). And she drew me a lovely picture of her church and some flowers.

Well, that's her three page letter in a nutshell. I hope I haven't bored you all. I just get so excited over letters from my kids, I had to share. :)

Feeding the Birds

One of my favorite quotes comes from a sermon I heard a while back:

"God feeds the birds, but he doesn't throw the worms into their nest."

I was watching the robins out my window this afternoon. They're eating from the feeder (yes, I feed birds year round), drinking out of the birdbath I'm now feeling guilty for not cleaning recently (guess what I'll be doing as soon as I'm off of here), and scratching around in my frozen garden (evidently not all bugs freeze). The little feathered creatures are being amazingly industrious on this cold grey day. Because of them, I will be making myself get out of my pj's, put some real clothes on, and get something accomplished this afternoon. After all, half of a day sitting here comfy in my "nest" hasn't produced a single "worm". 

Prison Guard Co-Workers

Not technically Prison Guards, but they sure are acting like it. All because of a teeny tiny little allergic reaction I had to food last Friday. As many of you know, I'm not supposed to have wheat, dairy, peanuts, or bananas due to them clogging up my sinuses, making my ears itch, giving me headaches, and generally making me miserable. I haven't had real genuine ice cream or anything with peanuts in it in a whole year.

Last Friday, one of my co-workers brought a package of those ice cream cones dipped in chocolate with peanuts on top to work for everyone. It's a bad time of the month for me to be resisting cravings and those ice cream cones were screaming my name. I finally caved and chose to brush off the peanuts and take two bites of chocolate covered chocolate ice cream and then throw the rest of the cone away. I really didn't think two bites would do much damage.

OOPS!!!

Within minutes my nose was itching like crazy and I could feel my face starting to swell. The woman sitting nearest to me looked my way and began to have a slight freak-out over my state of appearance, which got everyone else's attention & they soon joined her. I managed to control the reaction with Benadryl for the last hour of the day and by the time I got home I was pretty much fine - although a bit sleepy. It really wasn't a bad reaction compared to what happens when I get stung by a bee.

Fast Forward to This Week:
Tuesday they brought in chips & dip with caramel/chocolate covered pecans for snacks. They all ate them in front of me & refused to let me have ANY at all. Not even one little caramel/chocolate pecan (I do NOT have a pecan allergy) because the box said that they were processed in a factory with peanuts and there was dairy in the chocolate.

Wednesday was the worst. It was someone's birthday & they brought in Cheesecake (my co-workers are big on food). They wouldn't even let me have one tiny little bite. No matter how much explaining I did that I was pretty sure the ice cream thing had a whole lot more to do with the peanuts than the dairy. Have I mentioned that Cheesecake is like a drug for me? I ADORE Cheesecake. To watch my entire department eating it & hear their "mmmmmmmmm this is GOOD" comments was torture. But, like I said, they'd make excellent Prison Guards - no sneaking contraband for me.

I suppose the up side to this is that it'll make losing weight a slightly less difficult battle. It still sucks though.

When & Where Did You Lose Your Blogging Virginity?

I was on a site I've been a member of since 2001 tonight. I'm not on there a whole lot these days because I get lost whenever I log in and GIANT blocks of time will pass without me noticing that day has turned to night. I was reading some of my old tips/posts, correcting a few things that have changed over the years, answering some travel questions, and generally taking a trip down memory lane. It all got me to wondering:

What was your first blogging type experience? How long ago was it? What type of site was it on? Why did you do it?


For me:
I was cooped up at home after a car accident with nothing to do, an inability to sleep due to pain, and an internet connection. Yup, recipe for disaster. ;) Anyhow, I have always loved the discovery of new places either in person or just by reading about them and looking at pictures. I was browsing various travel sites and dreaming of escape to far away places when I came across a FREE tourist site that came complete with a chat room, pages to write about your travels & read of others, forums for asking questions & getting answers from people halfway across the world, and... did I say live chat? I was immediately hooked. I couldn't NOT sign up. There were people there 24/7. Live people from all over the world for me to talk to. The temptation was way too much to resist. Soon I was chatting away and reading all about the adventures my new friends were having around the world while dinner burned forgotten on the stove until the smoke alarms went off (really). My eyes were opened to new places to see right in my own town and I was soon taking pictures and writing tips and travelogues about my own boring neck of the woods for the world to read. Amazingly, my little piece of the planet became a very interesting place to explore. When looking at places from the perspective of telling someone who's never been there about it, you learn so much more. Because of that site, some of my travel tips have actually been published in a real live complete with paper pages book. I was stunned and silly with giddiness when I got the e-mail asking if it was ok to include my writings in the book. Me??? The stuff I wrote??? Really?????????? Of Course!!!!!!!!!! "Hey Mom, GUESS WHAT..." 

And THAT is how I began sending my experiences and opinions out to the web for the whole world to read.

Ding Dong 2010 Is DEAD!!!

And now that you're through with my version of the Wizard of Oz song, lets all hum a few bars of the HALLELUJAH Chorus...

Haaaaaalllllleeeeeeelllllluuuuuuuujjjaaaaaa!!!
Haaaaaalllllleeeeeeelllllluuuuuuuujjjaaaaaa!!!
Hallelujah!
Hallelujah!
Haaalllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeelllluuuuuuujjaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(from Annie)

2010 was plain awful
You can say that again 
2010 was plain awful
But that's 
Not now 
That's then

And to finish up our twisted sing along, one more round of the HALLELUJAH Chorus... Yup, I'm happy.

I have never been so glad to see the end of a year. I am 37 years old and I have been through some very challenging times in my life. 2010 wins as the worst year ever for me simply because of the volume and variety of disasters I have had to deal with. I've been through worse individual challenges, but never so many at once. But, like all challenges before and all of those yet to come, I made it through everything 2010 threw at me and I got to the other side of it still standing here with a smile on my face & looking forward to the peace, quiet, and good things I'm sure 2011 will bring into my life.

I rang in the new year in my jammies, comfy on the couch at home, watching the ball drop on TV, and talking to Mom and Sis on the phone. For New Year's Day, Sis, her fiance, and I met Mom for a long lunch/visit at a halfway point between the towns we live in. Unfortunately the drive from one place to the other is about 9 hours and is just too much to do on a frequent basis - especially when one is still a bit messed up from surgery. Meeting in the middle worked out really well and it was wonderful to have all of us together again. I do miss seeing Mom regularly. The meet in the middle strategy worked out so well for all of us, we've decided to do it again in March and this will probably end up becoming a regular thing for us.

Today, the second day of this wonderful new year, is perfectly beautiful. It is in the 40's (F) and sunny with blue skies. My dogs are having the best time outside playing in the yard and have been refusing to come in the house (a bit unusual for them). Once they've worn themselves out and decide to come in for a nap, my plan is to head to the nail salon for a mani/pedi. My sis gave me a $40 gift certificate for my birthday and I haven't used it yet. the guy who regularly does my pedicures is awesome and gives the best calf massages ever. I'm really looking forward to an hour and a half in that massage chair while my feet and calves are massaged!!! :) 

I would like to thank all of you for your support and friendship over the past months. You're all wonderful and it has been a pleasure to get to know you. May 2011 bring all of us abundant blessings and joy!