Getting Old SUCKS!!!

Rocco turned thirteen in October '07, so this is no surprise... he's old.  But knowing the aging process is happening, knowing the time to say goodbye is getting closer and closer... knowing about it absolutely does not make dealing with it any easier.  

This time last year I was worried he wouldn't make it much longer.  His hind legs were so weak he couldn't go for walks anymore and just the act of standing had them trembling with the effort.  Then we discovered his low thyroid, got some magic thyroid boosting pills, and suddenly life was better.  He got stronger and has spent the last year walking a mile per day.  

Until last week...  

Last week he fell, hard.  And now the degenerative nerve disorder in his hips is creating all sorts of havoc with his ability to stand and walk.  He can't feel where his hind feet are placed, so he falls frequently and ends up dragging his hind legs behind him.  This is not a strength issue, it's an inability to feel where & how the legs are placed and a lack of communication between the brain and the hind legs.  ~~ Kind of like trying to walk with your legs completely asleep. ~~  I have to use a sling under his abdomen to support him so that he can walk without falling.  This upsets me so much more than it upsets him.  He'll drag himself over to his sling, look at it and then bark at me - he likes that he can walk fast again when we use it.  When he first figured out the sling made it easier to walk, he took off running down the street with me chasing behind trying not to drop him & yelling at him to slow down.  He hasn't moved that fast in over two years!  I'm not in good enough shape to be jogging down the street in the best of circumstances, but carrying the back half of a 105 pound dog while doing so sent me into an asthma attack.  We've been walking one block per day - he would like to go further and attempts to drag me along with him, but I just can't carry him any longer than that.  

We're seeing the vet later this week.  She might have one more magic pill up her sleeve - actually it's a series of shots.  Other than his hips, my beautiful boy is in excellent health.  His heart is good, his hearing hasn't diminished a bit, and mentally he's as sharp as ever.  So I'm hoping the shots work.  The same hope I had as a child and had to deal with my little Patches dog getting old.  Because, just as I wasn't ready to say goodbye then, I'm not ready now.  And just like Dr. Aldene managed to pull some magic shots out of his bag of tricks to give me several more years with my little Patches, I'm hoping Dr. Torchia's magic shots will give me more time with Rocco.  Because I'm just not ready to say "goodbye".