Walking In Someone Else's Shoes

They say you should never judge someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes...


I'm not sure why I was thinking of that today, but I was.  And I was remembering an experience five years ago that really brought this concept home in a big way.


I was 25 and had my wisdom teeth removed.  No big deal.  Instead of vicodin, I was given Darvocet for the pain.  I'd never taken darvocet before, but it killed the pain and I didn't think much of the weird dreams I started to have.  By the third day of taking the medication, the dreams had become terrifying nightmares that refused to go away even when I woke up.  It was then that I had my first true understanding of why mental health patients who see things and hear voices harm themselves.  Suddenly, jumping off of buildings or running through plate glass windows to escape the demons pursuing me made perfect sense.  I quit taking the darvocet immediately and for the next 8 hours I stayed in the house, in familiar surroundings, talking to myself and reassuring myself that the things I was seeing weren't real and would go away as soon as I got the medication out of my system.  It was terrifying.


I was right about the hallucinations going away in a few hours. And that was when I understood that you can't understand until you've been there.


I have a whole new respect for mentally ill people who have hallucinations.  The very few steps I took in their shoes taught me that it takes an incredibly strong person to live with mental illness.  I don't think I'm strong enough to survive with permanent hallucinations.  I thank God that this particular cross has not been mine to bear.