Trying to be the Alpha Dog

Adam's vlog reminded me of how a dog is supposed to behave.  How my previous German Shepherd / Anatolian Shepherd behaved.  


Rocco was a very beautiful and intelligent handful.  It took all I had to be alpha with him.  We went round and round and round when he was a youngster.  I couldn't give an inch or he'd take five miles.  I had to be really on top of my game for the first five years I had him.  No relaxing.  Ever.  There were days I was sure the dog was smarter than me.  I got help from one of the Sheriff's Department canine trainers when he was a year old.  That's how I learned that I ALWAYS had to be in charge.  I've had dogs my whole life and this was a whole new way of thinking about dogs.  This dog, Rocco, needed a very strong leader.  And my Sheriff buddy turned me into one.  The results were awesome.  Rocco turned into an incredibly well behaved and trained dog.  I could take him anywhere and never worry about his reactions to various situations.  He was good with any size dog and young children too.  It is not easy for a 100 or so pound dog to be gentle and not knock a toddler over, but he was a pro at it.  He also did well with seniors, walkers, wheelchairs, shaky hands & all.  I regularly took him to public celebrations like Fourth of July where he mingled with the crowds, allowed anyone to pet him, and was an absolute pleasure to be with.  I got a lot of compliments on him.  As he got older, I was finally able to relax a little bit and enjoy the wonderful dog he was.


I got Lilly Ann at 15 months old when Rocco was 12 1/2 years old.  She had been severely abused and was terrified of everything.  She was too scared to challenge anything.  I didn't see the need for me to be the super strong alpha leader.  Instead I was patient, sweet, loving, and worked really hard to earn her trust & bring her out of her shell.  It worked.  She became very confident, no longer terrified, and was naturally a good girl.  So good, I didn't realize she was challenging me and very effectively running my household without me noticing by the time she turned 4.  I was told by a trainer friend that this is a very common problem with Australian Shepherds & that I should congratulate myself on having a normal dog with normal problems.  Oh, and I should get my butt in gear and start being the one in charge again.


Maks came along at two months old - a baby that had been dumped in my neighborhood.  It was exactly one month after Rocco died.  Maks was naturally a good dog too with a strong desire to please me.  Still is.  


So, I have two dogs that don't outright defy me.  They like to please me.  I relaxed way too much and let them take over running the house.  They're good at it.  Especially Lilly Ann.  But, Adam's very well trained dog reminded me that I am supposed to be the one in charge and we have been working on that this week.  


It's exhausting being the one in charge.  I find myself having to think about every interaction with them ahead of time and decide exactly what behaviors I want from them & not proceed until I get those behaviors.  


Maks has responded well & is much calmer in general now.  My sister came over last night and was surprised at his ability to sit calmly without being told to.  The changes made this week have been very good for him.  


Lilly Ann, on the other hand, has fought me every step of the way - looking the other way when told to do something or flat out turning her back to me and walking off.  She does not like having someone else run HER house.  But, since she has figured out that I mean business, she is reluctantly complying.  Her willingness to do as she is told on my schedule instead of her own has improved.


Today we went for a structured walk with me in charge and them being made to walk beside & slightly behind me.  This is how I walked Rocco for the first five years of his life - I had to. It is the first time I've made Maks and Lilly Ann go on this type of walk.  Usually they're on retractable leashes. 


Doing this with both dogs was exhausting.  Fortunately, Maks figured out what was expected pretty quick, so my left arm was saved from much pulling.  Lilly Ann took time to figure it out.  Then she took time to decide she'd comply.  My right arm paid the price.  Boy is it sore!  However, something clicked in her brain today and she has been happily looking to me for direction & then complying all evening.  YAY!!!


I don't expect Maks or Lilly to turn into Rocco.  I know they are different dogs with different capabilities.  However, they have not reached their full potential and it's my job to get them there.


No more Miss Pushover at my house.  From now on, I am the one in charge!

The new job is NOT working.

I've been at the new job for 2 1/2 months now.  I'm an accounts receivable/payable assistant.  It's a temp position that is/was supposed to become permanent.  I love the people I work with.  They're funny, caring, patient, hardworking... just generally great people.  I couldn't ask for more from a co-worker.


The supervisor is another story.


She is the worst manager I've ever met.  Her management style is to not manage at all, micromanage, or manipulate.  She is extremely disorganized and does not trust the people working in her department.  They don't trust her either.  My very first day, she pulled me aside and badmouthed them to me.  Fortunately, she is rarely actually in my building.  She spends most of her time at her other office at the sister company.  When she is gone, things are good.  This makes the few hours a week she is present somewhat bearable.


Things got worse when I had to go to the hospital for emergency gallbladder surgery. When I called her and told her I was on my way to the ER due to extreme pain and an inability to stop vomiting, her response was, "So this means you're not coming to work today?"
And she was put out about it!!!


I returned to work part time only three days after being released from the hospital.  On my fourth day out of the hospital, this woman called me into her office and proceeded to tell me that she had observed I was slow & methodical (during the two hours she'd spent at the office that week) and that she didn't think I could keep up with the fast pace of her department.  Then she tried to get me to agree with her!  She was not happy that I refused to agree with her & pointed out to her that I had JUST BEEN RELEASED FROM THE HOSPITAL.  I was flabbergasted at her insensitivity and complete lack of compassion.  It had taken a whole lot of convincing from both my sis and myself to get the Doc to allow me to return to work that soon.  Even his nurse was surprised that he'd allowed me back to work prior to 10 days after surgery.  For her to expect me to be back to normal productivity so soon and then to base her opinion of my work abilities on that particular day was astounding.


Since then she has continued to look for any little thing to criticize me on.  Fortunately, I don't make many mistakes so her opportunities have been few and far between.  She has tried to blame me several times for things I haven't done and I have had to prove that it occurred prior to me being hired.  She never apologizes for this.  She even criticized me for my desk being neat, clean, and organized.  Her comment was that since I had time to make sure things were organized, I must not have enough to do.  She didn't like my response that people work differently and some of us naturally put things away while we work so that we can find them easily later, while others seem to be happier in a less structured environment.  Both of her offices are complete disasters and she loses things all the time, so this didn't go over well.


Last week I got an e-mail from Human Resources.  This job that was supposed to be temp to perm, was posted on their website and if I was interested in continuing with it I could fill out an application.  No phone call from anyone.  And no contact at all from my supervisor about this.  


I did fill out the application.  A job with benefits isn't easy to find these days.  I got another e-mail today from HR asking if I was available Tuesday afternoon to interview.  Since my supervisor was missing yet again, I sent her an e-mail asking if it was ok for me to be out of the department during that time.  She NEVER responded.  Instead I got another e-mail from HR saying that the previous time wasn't good for the supervisor & rescheduling the interview.


What's even better than this is what happened when I arrived at work this morning.  Before I had even gotten my coat off, I was accused of leaving money out in the open overnight.  There are 7 people in the department I work in.  The supervisor did not ASK anyone if they knew what had happened or why.  She just jumped to the conclusion that it was me and sent a scathing e-mail around blaming me and stating that it was unacceptable and against known procedure.  


Even better, when she found out IT WASN'T ME, she said nothing.  No apology.  No talk with the girl who said she'd done it.  No correction to everyone she'd sent the e-mail to in which she blamed me.  Nothing.


I can handle a lot of things - especially when I like my co-workers.  But being accused of mishandling money is NOT one of those things!


After work today, I went to the temp agency and requested that they find me another assignment ASAP.  They happen to have two assignments that I'm qualified for & they're setting me up for interviews next week.  I realize that I may not like my new co-workers as well as I like these, but I just can't handle having that woman as a supervisor any longer.

More Snow!

It is snowing yet again here in Middle Tennessee.  The dogs are thrilled.  Me - not so much.  I tried to get to work today.  It didn't work.  Couldn't even manage to get onto the freeway.  After half an hour of trying to get out of my neighborhood & onto the freeway & not succeeding due to traffic & snow, I told my boss I was giving up and going home.  It took me another half an hour to get home, slipping and sliding the whole way.  By the time I got there, the new snow had completely covered my tracks leading out of the driveway as well as the spot where the car had been parked.  I spun and slid my way into the driveway and have no intentions of leaving again today.  


I took a couple of videos after getting home.  The first is of Maks and Lilly Ann in the back yard.  The second is of Maks refusing to come in the house.  I used my digital camera to take the videos, so the second one is shot sideways - I didn't know you couldn't rotate a video like you can rotate a picture.  See, one does learn something new every day.  Enjoy!


** It did eventually warm up a bit - enough for the roads to be clear - and I was able to go to work for a half day.  The severe traffic congestion was due to two different major accidents on the freeway.  One was a four car pile up.  The second was a two car crash that happened as a result of the four car accident.  


Video #1: Maks & Lilly in the back yard

Video #2: Maks refusing to come in the house

Putting Toys Away

My furry kids know that their toys need to be put away before bedtime. Preferably in the toy box they never use. They have two options, they can get their toys picked up and out of the way on their own -or- I will take care of picking them up and put them all in the toy box. They don't like having to sort through the toy box to find the particular toy they're looking for, so having Mommy pick up the toys is not their favorite alternative.

I am a stickler for the toys being out of the way before bedtime for two reasons: the screaming monkey and Maks' chew toys. There is nothing quite like getting up half asleep in the middle of the night and stepping on the screeching monkey. The thing is loud and obnoxious and guaranteed to give an unsuspecting soul heart failure. As for those chew toys... have you ever stepped on a Lego in your bare feet? Chew toys aren't any better.

Lilly Ann is especially good at keeping her toys put away. Mainly because she is hiding them from Maks. Her favorite toys are the soft stuffed animals. She keeps them on her bed and hidden under my bed where Maks doesn't dare go for fear of her beating him up.

As for Maks, his favorite toys are the chew toys. We call them his "pacifiers". He has five of them. When he was younger, not being able to find a pacifier at any given moment meant something of mine was going to get destroyed. As long as there is a pacifier available, he doesn't touch anything else. So, I make sure there are always plenty available. Maks is not anywhere near as good as Lilly when it comes to putting his toys away. I end up tripping over them or stepping on them a lot. He gets yelled at for this a lot. And then the toys get put in the dreaded toy box where he has to sort through all of the unpopular toys to get his favorites back out.

This morning when I was getting ready for work I ended up laughing out loud and then getting the camera to take a picture. It hadn't dawned on me until this morning, but I haven't tripped over a chew toy once since I had surgery. It's been 6 weeks and Maks has been keeping his toys out of the way the whole time. I hadn't noticed.

What made me laugh? Maks has been hiding his toys out of the way under the rocking chair. Seeing them set neatly where they wouldn't get stepped on cracked me up. Evidently my dense boy CAN learn! And I was so oblivious I didn't notice for over a month. Tonight he had one of the chew toys out, gnawing away. When he decided he was done, he picked it up and put it neatly under the rocking chair. I'm still smiling. :)

Here is the pic I took this morning:

SNOW!

We've had a lot of snow here in middle Tennessee this week.  Six and a half inches at my house.  The furry kids have had a blast playing in it and the neighborhood kids have been quite creative in their snowman making.

"NO! I don't want to come in the house!"