Trust

My favorite poem - found at a craft store on a stamp. I have no clue who wrote it.


She Who Believes in Herself

Trusting her instincts was
the hardest thing she ever did.
But she listened
to the whisperings of her heart.
She pushed forth with faith in her skills...
And faith in her knowledge
that she could succeed.
And she did!
In the end, trusting her heart
Was the smartest thing she ever did!

My Motto

One does not discover New Lands without consenting to lose sight of the Shore for a Very Long time. ~Andre Gide

I stumbled across this quote shortly after a car wreck permanently changed my life in December of 2001. It has been slow, but I have made a much better recovery than expected and most people never notice that I have some lingering injuries. I spent the first couple of years post-accident trying desperately & in vain to get my old familiar life back. When I found the quote, I was thinking of it as a motivation to work even harder to recover the old me so that I could head off traveling and exploring the world. Eventually I came to think of it as learning to let go of our old lives and embrace the new opportunities we have been given - no matter how badly we DON'T want those opportunities. Believe me, I REALLY didn't want those opportunities! I just wanted to be me again. My guess is that you all can relate to that desire. Anyhow, I didn't get the old me back (I still miss her sometimes). What I did get was different experiences, more friends, a different perspective on life, better friendships because I learned how quickly life can be gone, a new hometown, and less afraid to be myself. I have learned how to let go of the old and embrace the new. My life is different now and in many ways it is better. 

I am at yet another undesirable forced life change. This unwanted "gift" I have been given has made the old impossible to ever have again and is presenting new "opportunities" almost daily. I learned from that car wreck that fighting the inevitable is useless, so I will do my best to embrace this and make the most of the opportunities I've been given. Opportunities to meet others dealing with similar issues, to share my story with people who might otherwise feel alone, and to hopefully prevent my friends kids from ever dealing with the same thing. 

May we all have the courage to let go of the old and discover the "New Lands" ahead of us.

An Introduction

Hello all, I'm August. I just turned 37 this month (thus the name) and prior to July of this year, I would have sworn up and down that I've never had an STD/STI in my entire life. So much for that. I have HPV - the cancer causing kind. I found out about it as my doctor was insisting I had to make an appointment pretty much immediately to have the plethora of pre-cancerous cells on my cervix frozen before they progressed further. How in the heck did that happen??? Yes, I know, sex. That wasn't the question. How in the heck did I go from carefree to worrying about cancer? I thought this type of cancer moved slowly. Just over a year ago I had a completely normal pap and now we're talking about cancer, HPV, and freezing my cervix??? Somehow, somewhere, I fell down the rabbit hole and have found myself in a very strange world where nothing is as it should be.


Who am I (besides a woman with HPV)? I am a daughter, a sister, a sponsor of two Compassion International children, Mom to two dogs & a cat (all rescues), a horse lover, country music enthusiast, gardener, explorer of new places, and will always be a farm girl at heart. And I am pleased to meet all of you. May you all have a blessed day.

She Did It!!!

Much to my amazement on September 1st, my little girl got into the bathtub all by herself without being told to!!!  Maks will run and jump into the tub as soon as he sees me getting out his towels.  LillyAnn, on the other hand, hides under the bed and has to be coaxed out and then carried to the tub.  But, on Tuesday, she kept sneaking into the bathroom to  peek while Maks was taking his bath.  And then, to my complete shock, she came into the bathroom on her own as soon as Maks jumped out of the tub and sat beside the tub.  When I asked her if she wanted a bath, she got into the tub all by herself.  I'm soooo proud of my smart little girl!!! 

The Good, Bad, and Just Plain UGLY!

First the GOOD news:  My garden is awesome!  All of the veggies are growing nicely and it looks like I will be eating good this summer.  I picked my first snow peas yesterday and they were quite tasty.  I've got my eye on a couple of baby yellow crookneck squash, scallop squash, and zucchini squash that should all be big enough to pick and eat this weekend.  Yay!!!

And the even BETTER news is that I helped some clients write an offer on a property today. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed that we are able to negotiate successfully and have a contract in place by this weekend.  

Now for the BAD news: The lawnmower has a broken wheel adjuster part.  It's kind of hard to mow the lawn with only three wheels. I went to three different tractor / small engine repair / equipment stores today and have essentially been told that the replacement part needed to properly keep the wheel on the lawn mower is a special order part that will take several weeks to arrive and cost me almost $30.00.  Needless to say, I'm quite frustrated!

And finally, the outright UGLY: I am suffering from an infestation of fleas at my house.  Said infestation was discovered last night.  Actually, it discovered me.  Evidently I taste good, because I am now covered in red ITCHY welts from the little devils biting me!  I bathed and sprayed both dogs and went through their fur hunting for my tormentors - found a grand total of ONE flea.  Tonight the cat gets a bath and flea spray - I'm sure he'll be all sorts of thrilled about that. (NOT) And tomorrow, the cat gets locked outside while the dogs and I go on a field trip for 5 hours so the house can stay closed up and let the bug foggers kill all of the little demons deader than dead.  And then, after I borrow a lawn mower from the neighbor down the street and actually mow my lawn, my yard will be sprayed with more bug spray to kill all fleas and ticks and mosquitoes that even dare to think about coming anywhere near my property.  Yup, I'm quite pissed off at bugs right now... therefore, THEY MUST DIE!!!